October 16, 1992
The most important night of my life happened to me at the tender age of 17. And even though I was young and immature I understood the significance of what had happened, in spite of my age. After all, love at first sight is a phenomenon experienced by a lucky few. Only one other memory, the birth of my son, is so vividly clear in every detail.
It was Friday and I was in great spirits the whole day. It was no small thing to be in great spirits as I had just moved to a new city a few weeks before the start of my senior year of high school. Moving is difficult enough, but moving right before your senior year to a school comprised mostly of kids who had grown up together was even more so. This was their big year and I was the odd man out. Luckily I had befriended a guy from another school who was temporarily living in the same part of town as me. During the day I went to school and wallowed in self misery. But after school and weekends were spent with him and his friends whenever possible. I went to their school’s football games and home-town parties. Through them I met a girl and we were going on our first date that night. Friday, October 16, 1992.
When school let out that day I was probably in the best mood I’d been in since moving. I couldn’t wait to knock off my afternoon chores and get ready for my big night out. The plan was simple and, more importantly, very normal. Pick up my date, head to the game, sit with our friends, go out for some dinner, and then head to a party. It was a promise of a return to a life that wasn’t so disjointed from the one I had just left.
But things don’t always go according to plan. To say my date and I were incompatible is an understatement. There was no spark. After the game I didn’t want to spend any more time with her and the date was cut short. Under normal circumstances I would shrug off a bad date knowing that some people are just not right for one another. But these were not normal circumstances and the complete flop of a date just sent me into a sadness. When I dropped her off at her house, only a few houses down from the party we were supposed to attend, I just wasn’t in the partying mood and instead decided to head home.
Fate literally stepped in the way. My friend, the one who lived near me, was standing in the driveway of the party house with some other people. He saw my car approaching and ran out in front of me because he was so interested in how my date went. I told him it wasn’t so great and that I was heading home. He insisted I stay. I laughed, got over myself, and decided to stay. What a great decision.
Calling this a party is probably an exaggeration. It was really just a small group of people who all knew each other pretty well. They were expecting a few more people but that was it. We all huddled in a small basement crowded around a pool table that probably shouldn’t have been in a space that small. There was a small couch, a small TV, and tons of trinkets and bar signs littered throughout the walls. It was cozy. Or claustrophobic. I’m not sure.
I was sitting on the couch, slouched way down, watching a couple of guys play pool. I was facing the pool table and the stairs. Lost in thought and dwelling on the bad date, I wasn’t really participating. I had barely noticed that a couple of the guys had gone upstairs. From where I was on the couch, I could only see the last 3 or 4 stairs which is an important detail because it perfectly set the stage. One of the guys came down the stairs and into the basement and he was followed by not one but several sets of footsteps. Curiosity in the new arrivals was enough to snap me out of my funk and I perked up in anticipation of seeing the new faces. I kept an eye on those last few stairs as the newly arrived began entering the scene. A guy appeared, one of the crew I had come to know, and headed toward the pool table. A girl appeared and smiled at someone she knew. She stepped off the last step and into the basement. And there, on the second step from the bottom, stood my wife.
In the movie Wayne’s World, the character Wayne is so stricken by a woman that the scene behind her goes dark with stars fluttering around her while the song “Dream Weaver” plays in his head. I swear that was how it was. Minus the song and the stars. I had tunnel vision when I saw her and the world around me went quiet and time stood still. That moment, which lasted maybe 1 or 2 seconds, is the exact moment burned into my memory. She smiled at someone she knew and it knocked the wind out of me. This is in no way an exaggeration. I felt like I had just been blindsided by a linebacker. The weight on my chest was crushing and it was a sensation that felt as good as any other I have ever experienced.
My momentary paralysis was interrupted by a voice in my head screaming at me to get up and go talk to her. I was a fairly outgoing person once I got to know someone but when I was meeting someone for the first time I was always hesitant and very shy. The very fact that I could be brave enough to get up and go talk to a girl whom I had never met and found so very beautiful is a miracle in its own right. In a daze I peeled myself off of the couch and approached the area where she was standing. One of my friends saw us near each other and he quickly introduced us. I was so out of sorts that I didn’t even realize he was joking when he introduced her as being related to a celebrity with the same last name. She laughed, I gushed, and I could barely squeak out a “hello” before retreating to the other side of the room. I tried to be jovial with the other guys in the room, cracking joke after joke, always keeping an eye on her to see if she was reacting. She wasn’t. I played some pool hoping to impress her with my mad skills. She didn’t even seem to notice. I was trying everything my feeble little 17-year-old mind could think of to wow the chicks and I was coming up empty. It was very deflating. Every once in a while she would crack that beautiful smile and it would make my heart pound again. Nothing really went right for me in my attempts to dazzle this girl and I lost hope and confidence and decided to leave before I did something to ruin any chance I might have had. I told my friend I was leaving.
My buddy and his friend walked with me as I left the house. I was still in a trance-like state. I asked them about the girl and they told me what they knew. They said they’d put in a good word for me. I asked them not to. Then I told them to go ahead. Then not. Then go. I was not thinking clearly. I left and slowly walked outside. I didn’t go straight to my car, instead choosing to go for a little walk to soak up what had just happened. It was a crisp October night and the smell of firewood was heavy in the air. I breathed it in and listened to breeze blowing through the pine trees. I was happy. I spent a few minutes staring up at the stars before deciding it was time to leave. As I drove home I just couldn’t stop smiling. The feeling was overwhelming and I knew that what had happened was important. But I had no way of knowing what would be in store for us and our lives as a result.
That was 17 years ago today. It holds significance because, from here on out, I will have known her for most of my life. And if not for that night there could not have been the many other wonderful moments in time that we have shared. Our first date, our first kiss, proposing to her on bended knee, our wedding day, and the birth of our son could not have happened if I hadn’t gone to that party and she hadn’t come down those stairs. The memory is powerful and I feel grateful for the experience.
And to that beautiful woman standing on those stairs, you are my angel, my wife, and my best friend. Thank you.
